NakedWilly

After many years, this story has become one of the most outrageous, terrifying, and ridiculous stories I have to tell. Yet many years later we can look back and laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of the event.

I shall set the scene for you: A newly renovated 2nd floor condo is vacant. This condo is in a nice, very busy neighborhood and is listed for rent by The Rental Factor. It’s a cool but sticky Florida fall night and the night shadow had already begun to cover the sky.  Now, I always preach safety to my property managers and showing a property after dark is a safety “no, no.” However, they also know that a vacant unit costs the owner money and they pay us so it’s in our benefit to take care of our owners and tenants. So my kind, sweet, people-pleasing property manager made an appointment with a tenant slightly after the sun was scheduled to set because that potential tenant’s schedule only allowed them to see it after dark. Since it was late she got to the property early to turn on all of the lights. Walking up the stairs nothing seemed out of the ordinary. She got to the door and put the code into the lockbox and retrieved the key. She opened the door and turned the light on and as she rounded the corner and noticed an unusual shadow. Quickly she realized that the shadow was coming towards her. As the shadow came into focus she realized that it was in fact a man and not any man, a NAKED MAN shaking his business as he skipped towards her as if he was in slow motion. She hadn’t turned on all of the lights in the condo and before she knew it she was screaming and running from the property nearly tripping on her way down the stairs. She stumbled to her car and quickly dialed 911.

When the police arrived she began to tell them the story of what had happened and a few details starting to come to her. She remembered seeing a particular make, model, and colored vehicle leaving the scene. Then she recalled the unique height and build, as well as the voice. Like a ton of bricks it hit her:  it was a vendor who worked on the rehab! It made sense he had the code to the front door, he had worked on the property and knew that it was vacant. What he didn’t count on was us showing the property at that moment. She had concluded that he intended to meet a girlfriend at the property. She deduced this in retrospect after realizing that he in no way was approaching her with weapons or in a manor that would indicate he didn’t know her. He was skipping naked through the air as if his darling had arrived for their rendezvous at the local vacant condo (how romantic?!).

She called me frantically after she finished with the police and told me this story and her deduction. I immediately called the vendor in question and confronted him. Deny, deny, deny he did! The ironic part about this was that I told him and I meant this, that if he told me the truth it would be better for him and that I would not get mad. He lied and I had no proof other than the eyewitness who saw his vehicle leaving the scene, a man that matched his size and weight, the fact that he was naked, and the condo was locked from the inside which means they had a key (or lockbox code).

Nothing about the situation at the time was funny. There are, however, three perspectives that are vastly different ways of viewing this situation though.

Starting with the property managers point of view (POV) from her POV was that she had just walked into a dark condo at night and had a naked man approach her. The sheer terror she must of felt is enough to give anyone the chills.

The naked man’s POV was that he was excited to meet his girlfriend in this vacant condo he had worked on. He got there early went to the bedroom and undressed preparing for his lovely to arrive. It’s dark, he’s naked, and he hears the door begin to open. He must think “ah, ha, mi amore is finally here,” and begins to skip through the air to greet her at the front door. Swaying back and forth as his glee has him nearly gliding through the air. As he turns the bend down the hallway towards the front door he begins to get close and he realizes, SH** that is not my girl as he sees the sheer terror of my property managers face. His realization is nailed home as the woman whom he has worked for screams and runs from the property. I can only imagine the mad dash for his clothes and subsequently his car.

Lastly, there is my POV: I am actually driving home for the night when I get a call from my property manager, not unusual as we communicate regularly and when I answer she sounds panicked. Immediately she tells me that she is okay and the entire above story including the realization that this was a vendor. I immediately pictured the now known to be harmless vendor gliding through the air as he shook his business and the terror he must have felt when he realized he was shaking his business at my property manager. I picture my property manager’s face from his POV realizing that she was not who he was expecting and he had to be just as terrified.

Time has since healed my property manager’s wounds with the exception of her eyes but that’s another story. Now, it is a story we look back on and are able to laugh at. The most comical part of the entire situation is the first name of this particular vendor and this is a part of the story that can’t be left out. His name? Willy. That’s right folks!  The gliding naked man’s name was WILLY. 🙂

There you have it, Naked Willy, another great real estate war story. 🙂